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To My Boy-Crazy Little Sister...

Ja'Zaria (Marion, Arkansas) asks:

HI, I AM A FRESHMAN IN COLLEGE AND THERE ARE TWO GUYS WHOM I AM VERY MUCH SO ATTRACTED TO, BUT I PREFERR TO BE WITH ONE OF THEM REALLY BAD, BUT I DON'T THINK THEY'LL TALK TO ME BECAUSE THEY ARE UPPER CLASSMAN. WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS HOW WILL I APPROACH THIS GUY THAT I LIKE OR HOW SHOULD I APPROACH HIM. EVERYTIME I SEE HIM HE JUST TAKE MY BREATHE AWAY. I WENT TO THIS PARTY AND WE DANCED TOGETHER LIKE 3 TIMES, BUT I DON'T KNOW IF HE REMEMBER ME, BUT I THINK HE HAVE AN IDEA WHO I AM, BUT I'LL SEE WHENEVER I SEE HIM ON CAMPUS I GUESS.

Hello JaZaria,

I am writing this to you as if you were my little sister ;)

So Li’l Sis:

You’ve been on campus for nearly two months and already a guy is taking your breath away. I remember my first two months at school, staring bug-eyed at all of the hot girls walking up and down the yard. It didn’t matter if they were freshman, upper classmen, grad students or what. As they say down South, “my nose was wide open.”

As a freshman I recall how challenging it was to get the older ladies to take notice. What I realize now is that it probably wasn’t my age or rank; it was my unpolished freshman game. For most guys (unless you were on the basketball team or something) scoring an upper class banger was VERY difficult. For freshman girls, this is a totally different scenario…

And herein lies the advice. Be careful. (IF YOU DO NOT CARE FOR FRANK ADVICE FROM YOUR OLDER BROTHER, READ NO FURTHER) A guy, especially at that age, will pretty much sleep with anybody. When me and my boys finally got the status of upper classmen, smitten young ladies such as yourself were easy pickins’. It was around that time that a young man’s game gets sharp and here comes a fresh load of brand new, fresh off the boat froshes whose heads were spinning from being away from home for the first time in their lives. I say again, BE CAREFUL.

Now that that’s said, you are probably gonna do what you’re gonna do anyway so I will prepare you as best I can:

Pick one. You said you were into two guys. Pick one. There is no need complicating things with some soap opera story line of deception and love triangles. Peoples’ business gets out no matter what. Everyone thinks they are on the DL, very few really are. Hopefully you will be there for four years; your reputation is a valuable thing.

Be honest and remain on your throne at all times. Remember, you are a Queen. The moment you are not being respected as such, bounce. The moment you are not respecting YOURSELF as such, bounce.

Value friendships and invest in relationships where you can be fully expressed. It really helps to have a strong support system. If there ever comes a time when you think you need to choose between friends and upper class boys, bounce.

Keep in mind why you are in school. You are there to LEARN. All learning is not done in the classroom, the social lessons are valuable too—the point is, you don’t know everything yet. Be humble.

Freshman guys are people too. Give them a chance ;)

All in all, I trust you will do what’s right for you. Always hold your head high.

God bless you and get to class!

Love,

Your big brother Truman

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