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Ask Truman

Once, Twice, Three Times You Crazy

sweetnote (Houston, Texas) asks:

Hi, Mr Truman

I recently found out that my man has been cheating on me. He stayed with this woman for five days. Then he decided that he wanted to come back to me. He tells me that he is confused. What should I do. Give him a another chance to prove himself or not. My pride, pain and my self esteem is saying no but my heart says I love him. Oh, This is the 2nd time but with a different person.

Dear Sweetnote,

Thanks for your question. In the midst of your pain and broken pride, you have shared your story and it is appreciated.

Do you think that there is a pattern here?

I believe that we continue to relive certain storylines until we become aware of how our ideas about ourselves create our experiences. Life is a classroom where the main lesson is to learn to Love ourselves completely and unconditionally. No matter whether you forgive this guy or not, until you deal with the underlying cause, the unconscious idea that blocks you from fully embracing YOU, chances are you will end up in the same place that you find yourself now. Once you discover that cause, you will be in a position to author a new storyline that will hopefully serve your best life.

So how do we identify the cause? Be quiet. Sit down, turn off the television, take the phone off the hook and be quiet.

Listen to the voice in your head. Just observe the things that you tell yourself. This is the tape that you have running all day long. This is the tape that clouds your perceptions and colors your choices. This is the tape that obstructs the natural intuition that flows from your heart, from the energy of Love. Be prepared to really see how negative that voice can be—how scared and worried that voice can be. That voice is the window that your soul sees out of into the world.

If you have ever heard a woman who has been beaten say, “But he loves me!” then you have witnessed the effects of someone whose tape is clouding their heart’s intuition. When you said, “but my heart says I love him”, be aware that some of the issues that you are holding on to may be messing with the reception.

Once you identify the tape you are playing in your head, you can change it for something that is in alignment and in harmony with what’s good in life. When the window pane is cleared of all the dirt and grime of negativity, you can trust the powerful whispers of wisdom from your heart.

Your heart helps you stay connected with the universal power supply that is Love. It will never lead you to pain and low self-esteem. Pain and damaged self-esteem are indicators that we are off track, that something ain’t right.

Allow yourself some quiet time and reconnect.

It may be time to let go of some old baggage.

God bless,


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