Dear Sexy Detta,

What is a soul mate?

I think if you asked a million people you would get a million different ideas about what a soul mate is. What’s important here is what YOU think a soul mate is.

Is it someone who “completes you”? Is he the only one who really gets you, who really understands you? Is this person the other half of you, walking around somewhere out there waiting for the moment, the magical moment that the two of you reunite? More to the point, is this person a fantasy?

If this is really is about a fantasy, then all the men that cross your path will fall short. Even if you really like a guy, he is being compared to this ideal man, this one in three billion kind of guy.

You are a Queen. Of course you deserve the best. However, the best is not necessarily a man that can complete your sentences and guess your favorite color.

We are all already connected in the most fundamental sense. Just like when you make a phone call, you don’t have to lay down thousands of miles of cables and wires, you just have to pick up the phone and dial the number. The same thing applies with people. It is not about creating connections; it is about REALIZING connections and realizing them clearly. That means being receptive. It means keeping the line open. When the connection is clear you will get a REAL sense of how you and the other person are able to relate with one another. You will see that there are a lot more eligible men out there than you may have thought.

Be willing to change your mindset. You wrote, “Why is it hard in today’s world to find that person that is your soul mate?” Let’s do an experiment. First, write down on a sheet of paper the kind of relationship you would like to experience. Not the kind of person you want to be with, but the kind of RELATIONSHIP you would like. This way when you meet someone, you are tuning into the experience and feeling of getting to know them and this requires your active participation. Instead of shopping for a “thing” on a shelf, you are seeing how well you can partner together, how well you vibe together. This requires that you share and keep the line open instead of judging the other person against some checklist. By allowing yourself to truly experience the connection you can then determine if the experience is in alignment with you preferences.

Now imagine that it is easy. For two whole weeks, go about your business as if it were easy to meet someone that you can relate with CLEARLY and HONESTLY. Practice with everyone. Allow enough space in your thinking for something unexpected to occur. Be in the moment and keep an open mind.

Thanks for your question Sexy Detta. Please write back and let us know how it goes.

PEACE,

Truman