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Love Don't Hit

Angel (Memphis, Tennessee) asks:

I have been dating this guy for 1 year and six months now.This is the first serious relantionship for both of us.I mean he tells me that i'm one person he would like to spend the rest of his life with.When we first started dating we got into an argument and he slapped me on my face.He apologized and swore never to do that again.he had never hit a woman before.My question is if i'm the first woman he has ever loved then why did he put his hands on me.I still have feelings for him and i cannot imagine life without him but on the other hand i dont want to be with a violent person because he did once he might do it again....

Dear Angel,

You have asked a powerful question: “If I'm the first woman he has ever loved then why did he put his hands on me?”

Listen closely…

Love don’t hit.

Love is power.

Love is the realization of unity and oneness--the understanding that to harm another is to harm one’s self. To hit another is an expression of ignorance and powerlessness; a symptom of feeling separated from Love.

In that moment, your boyfriend did not Love you. His apology is a start, however, a promise to never hit you again is an illusion. Even if he is able to keep his word and never strikes you again, it does not address the underlying reality that within, at the soul level, he is experiencing a disconnect. His actions demonstrated the conflict in his spirit. Even if his hands were permanently tied behind his back, until he is willing to look within himself, the conflict will remain to be expressed in some other form.

What’s better, a violent loveless relationship or a non- violent loveless relationship? WHO CARES! They are both loveless.

You said, “I cannot imagine life without him…” Maybe you CAN imagine your life without him but the thought is just too painful for you to bear. Perhaps this is how YOU fit into the drama. You were both on different sides of the same slap. Perhaps this is related to the inner pain that the two of you may have in common. The question that comes to my mind is: will you take this opportunity to choose something better for yourself? Will you see this as a wake up call, an alarm that something on the inside needs to be tended to?

I trust you will.

It is said that things happen for a reason. If it holds true that our outer experience is a reflection of our inner reality, what does this experience reveal about what’s really going on with you? In exploring YOUR “reason” for the experience that you and your boyfriend shared, you’ll hopefully rediscover a light within that has been veiled by the buildup of hurt and fear.

I believe that we can all be redeemed. Your boyfriend is not “bad”, just misguided. Please consider that it may be best for the two of you to take a relationship timeout in order to heal as individuals. A healthy relationship takes two healthy people.

It is your sacred responsibility to bring your light to this life. Your friends and family are there to help.

Thank you Angel.

Your sharing has given us all an opportunity to look within and tend to our light.



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