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Ask Truman

Look Again

Robert (Emeryville, California) asks:

Why do educated independant black women feel the need to surround themselves by brothers that are intimidated by them. I read the question posed by the sista asking why she finds herself in this situation so often. I have heard this complaint a thousand times from women, yet these women keep repeating the same behavior that lands them in the company of men that lack the self esteem, confidence and experiences that would prepare them to receive a queenly woman into their lives. It seems to me that if my current method is obviously flawed, it would make sense to change it. Are these women addicted to complaining about men? I think it may be more challenging to be a real woman than an intimidator. What do you think?

What’s up Robert,

We live in a mysterious, magical Universe. It has a way of always proving us right. Whatever deep-seated thoughts we hold, they manifest as our experience. There is an age- old wisdom that encapsulates this sentiment: We reap what we sow.

Let’s reflect for a moment what type of seeds we have sown in the fields of our minds. These seeds being ideas, thoughts, and suggestions…

Have you seen more images of Black folk dying or Black folk being born?

Have you seen more images of Black folk being shot, or Black folk being kissed?

Have you seen more images of Black women disrespected, or Black women being loved?

Have you seen more images of Black men being feared, or Black men being loved?

In back of all these images are ideas. These ideas, these thoughts, are not what is true, just what has been allowed to grow in our minds. And through this cluttered lens we make our judgments.

Let’s be more conscious gardeners. May we be more aware of what we allow into the mansion of our souls. Let’s plant and nurture the seeds of a reality we wish to experience.

Robert, will you take a long, deep look at the next sister you see and focus on how beautiful she is? Will you see through the weeds that may have grown wild in your mental garden and see how beautiful she truly is? I dare you. I dare you, because once you do, once you look again, once you see through the lies, through the distortions, you will find yourself at the leading edge of a growing revolution. A revolution within…

I’m going to my Mom’s house, the woman who has loved me all my life. And she loves me just because. I’ll start with her.

Let’s wake up today,


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